Attachment-focused. Experiential. A steady place to land.
You probably know the feeling. A look, a tone, a familiar phrase — and suddenly you're both somewhere you've been a hundred times before, neither of you wanting to be there, neither of you quite sure how you got there again. The cycle has its own momentum, and by the time it's over, you're further apart than when it started.
What you're caught in is familiar to me. I've sat with many couples in exactly that place — not broken, but stuck in a pattern that has taken on a life of its own. And patterns, even deeply entrenched ones, can change.
What most couples want isn't complicated: to feel truly heard by the person they love most. To be able to say the hard thing without it igniting a firestorm. To stop bracing for the next argument and start feeling like teammates again. That's what this work is for.
How I Work With Couples
My approach is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and attachment science — one of the most research-supported frameworks for understanding why couples get stuck and what actually helps them reconnect. Alongside that foundation, I weave the language and principles of IFS throughout the work — as a framework for the individual interior work that inevitably shows up between two people. When your partner's tone triggers something old and fast in you, when part of you wants to move closer and another part slams the door — IFS gives us a way to work with those internal responses directly, within the couples session itself. The two approaches together give the work both relational structure and real flexibility.
When you notice your chest tighten the moment a certain topic comes up, we slow that down enough to explore what's actually happening underneath, and find a way through it together — not around it.
There's a reason the same arguments keep happening: our attachment responses are fast and automatic, older than language, older than reason. The nervous system reads threat in a tone of voice or a moment of withdrawal before the thinking mind has caught up. Couples therapy at this level works with that reality — meeting you where the cycle actually lives, not just at the surface.
My role in the room is to hold the container — for the relationship, and for each of you individually. All three need attention, and I'm tracking all three at once. At times I'm conducting, at times guiding, at times nudging, at times giving voice to something that doesn't have words yet. And underneath all of it, I'm holding something that can feel almost impossible to do from inside the relationship: honoring the experience and needs of both of you, fully and simultaneously, without making either person wrong in the process. That's the work. And it's why having a skilled third presence in the room changes what's possible.
What Couples Therapy Can Help With
- The recurring argument that never really resolves
- Emotional distance, disconnection, or growing apart
- Infidelity and rebuilding trust
- Intimacy and sexual concerns
- Life transitions — new baby, empty nest, retirement, relocation
- Premarital counseling
- Blended family and parenting dynamics
- Grief, loss, or shared trauma
- Resentment, jealousy, or feeling unseen
- Differing needs, values, or visions for the future
Who I Work With
I work with couples across a wide range of identities, orientations, and relationship structures — including LGBTQ+ and gender-diverse couples and non-traditional configurations. I offer a steady, balanced presence for both of you. My goal is that each person feels genuinely heard — not just represented, but actually understood.
A Note on Timing
Couples often wait longer than they wish they had. If something feels off between you — even if you can't quite name it yet — that's worth paying attention to. Earlier is almost always easier.
Ready to Take a First Step?
The first step is a brief prescreen conversation — a chance to get a feel for how I work and whether this might be the right fit for both of you.