This page is a work in process! The field of attachment science is exploding with resources and research.Understanding attachment science as it relates to your strengths and challenges in relationships (and therefore life), is highly recommended for anyone seeking improved relationships and better functioning. Attachment bonds are the foundation of personality development and ongoing strategies for relating in relationships, especially our most important ones. 

Your Attachment Style Quiz - Reliable source of finding out your adult attachment style, and tracking how it changes over time. Developed by R. Chris Fraley, University of Illinois at Champagne-Urbana. To learn more about this project and attachment theory follow this link  

Books and Streaming

Internal Family Systems Therapy

Any book by Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS will help with a range of issues, from trauma to anxiety and depression. The IFS Institue website has a complete listing of books about IFS, written by Schwartz and numerous other wonderful authors. Please click here to go to the IFS Institute.

Couple Relationships and Attachment Bonds

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime, Sue Johnson

Love Sense, by Sue Johnson

YouTube - Soothing the Threatened Brain, Dr. Sue Johnson

YouTube - The Laws of Love, Dr. Sue Johnson

You Tube - Love Sense, Dr. Sue Jonson with Ed Tronick, Still Face Expirement

Attached, Amir Levine

After The Honeymoon: How conflict can improve your relationship, Daniel Wile

After the Fight: Using your disagreements to build a stronger relationship, Daniel Wile

The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, John Gottman

The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers, John Gottman. 

Getting the Love you Want: A Guide for Couples, Harville Hendrix

Shame/Perfectionism/Inner Critic

I Thought it was Just me, Brenee Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection, Brenee Brown

Letting Go of Shame, Ronald Potter-Effron

TED Talk - Listening to Shame, by Brenee Brown

TED Talk - The Power of Vulnerability, by Brenee Brown

Alcoholism and Addiction

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism is a good resource for information. Fact sheets, PDF files available.

Beyond Addiction, How Science and Kindness Help People Change, by Jeffrey Foote et al

Breaking Addiction - a 7-Step Handbook for Ending Any Addiction, by Lance Dodes, MD

The Heart of Addiction, by Lance Dodes, MD

TED Talk - Everything You Know About Addition is Wrong, by Johann Hari

Anxiety, Depression and Feeling Better

Bouncing Back - Rewiring your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-being, Linda Graham

Buddha's Brain, Rick Hanson

Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg

I Don't Want to Talk About It, Terrence Real

The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle

A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron

I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, Dawna Markova

Sex Abuse Survivors

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (note:men also find this book to be very useful)

Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma, Staci Haines  

Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse, Michael Lew

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, Wendy Maltz

Communication Skills

Difficult Conversations: How to discuss what matters most, Douglas Stone & Bruce Patton

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler

Parenting and Attachment

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12 by Thomas W. Phelan

The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby by William Sears, Martha Sears

Attached at the Heart: 8 Proven Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children by Barbara Nicholson, Lysa Parker

Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear by Pam Leo

The Attachment Connection: Parenting a Secure and Confident Child Using the Science of Attachment Theory by Ruth Newton PhD

Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Daniel Siegel MD and Mary Hartzell

The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart by Jan Hunt

Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation by Sura Hart, Victoria Kindle Hodson

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel MD and Tina Payne Bryson

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn

Sex and Sexuality

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, Ian Kerner

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man, Ian Kerner

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life,Emily Nagoski

The Sex-Starved Marriage: A Couple’s Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido, Michele Weiner Davis

Hot Monogamy, Pat Love

How To Make Love To The Same Person for the Rest of Your Life and Still Love It, Dagmar O’Connor

Getting the Sex You Want, Tammy Nelson

Passionate Marriage, David Schnarch

Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids, Anne Semans and Cathy Winks

The Centerfold Syndrome: How Men Can Overcome Objectification and Achieve Intimacy with Women, Gary Brooks

For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality, Lonnie Barbach

Bodylove: Learning to Like Our Looks and Ourselves -- A Practical Guide for Women, Rita Freeman